We are human. We have good days and bad days, just like everyone else. The problem is that on our bad days, these little people, sometime the culprits, feel the wrath. There is nothing worse than the nights when I put my kids to bed and the guilt overcomes me. I am relieved they are in bed after a tough day, but often I begin to feel horrible soon after for having snapped, denied a request for an extra story, or simply for just not being as loving and patient as I should have been. This always ends with me feeling guilty enough that I walk back upstairs and sneak in for a kiss, or for that extra story.
I began to lose my cool more often with my toddler once the baby arrived and I was very very sleep deprived. I found this pattern beginning to occur more often than not and knew it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to me, because I was missing the precious fleeting moments, and it certainly wasn’t fair to my daughter. During a visit with my mom (who is the world’s best), she sat me down and reminded me that I was doing a great job. The moment she said it, the tears streamed down my face. She told me it was okay to be strict, structured and routined. It was okay to have high expectations of my kids and their behavior. Then, she said, “but…. you have to love on them more than you discipline them. Everyday.”
To this day, I remember her wise words and soften up my tone as soon as I catch myself losing my cool. More importantly, I remind myself that I need to give my little one a little extra lovin’…. later.
I recently came across an article on Happy You Happy Family, which sums it all up. After you find yourself losing your temper and feeling frustrated, forgive yourself, apologize and challenge yourself to FIVE good acts. Read more here.